Bryan Hullihen

As many of you know, my name is Bryan Hullihen and I have been in recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction for many years now. Remembering the things that got me to where I am in my success is one of the things that keeps me grounded but it is also the thing that allows me to have future success. The path to the life I always wanted is through recovery. It is a funny thing how often we find that we have arrived at our destination in life through some other means than we had initially anticipated. Recovery has been like that for me. It seems counter intuitive to think that if we want financial freedom we need to be attending to our recovery instead of our careers but that has been my story and so many others. When I was younger I would go headlong into some business venture or career path thinking that all I needed to feel better was to find success the way I defined it at the time; money, cars, Realestate, etc. I truly believed this to my core and so I lived my life as if that were...

My name is Bryan Hullihen and I am an alcoholic. I have suffered many consequences as a result of my drinking and getting sent to prison was just one of many consequences. During my time in prison I stayed busy and worked a program of action relative to my alcoholism, however, I knew that life in prison was the minor leagues. By the time I walked out of that place I had over six years of sobriety but when I was given my freedom I felt like a newcomer. I had experienced the psychic change necessary to live a life of sober independence and help others do the same but restarting my life and having my freedom restored presented me with some challenges that I hadn't had in over half a decade. Seeing women all over the place was just one of many distractions that I knew could have me placing my recovery in the passenger seat very quickly. There was also the distractions of all the shiny things and an innate desire to keep up with the Jones's. After several years of not having many s...

Being in early recovery from alcoholism and/or drug addiction is both an exciting and precarious time. I, Bryan Hullihen , know this from personal experience having been in early recovery more times than I'd care to admit. In active addiction we push all our loved ones away, most of us end up broke, and we find ourselves all alone or around other people who definitely don't have our best interest in mind. Then we come to find a path of recovery from this seemingly hopeless state and begin to feel amazing as our friends and loved ones return, we find a little money in our pockets, we surround ourselves with people who truly care, and we are no longer plagued by an assiduous yearning to get loaded. Too many people get to this place in early recovery and mistakenly assume they "got it" which invariably triggers a mental shift. Prior to this "shift" these folks, myself included, had recovery as the number one priority. Our desire and focus were where they need...

I, Bryan Hullihen , recently watched a podcast by Tim Ferriss where he stated, "You are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with." I like to say, "It's hard to fly like an eagle when you hang with turkeys." Although both statements are profoundly the same, their application to those in early recovery does mean the difference between success and failure or life and death. Coming into recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction we are not so far removed from the people in our lives that support our continued drug and alcohol use. This proximity can make it extremely difficult to break away from the five people that make up our average which has resulted in continued drug and alcohol use for far too long. It is important to not only break away from continued drug and alcohol use but also the people who have contributed to that behavior or do not support our recovery. My mentor from years ago had me construct a list of people that I viewed as...

One of my favorite quotes is from Tony Robbins who is one of my favorite personal development teachers. He says, "If you let your learning lead to knowledge you become a fool. If you let your learning lead to action you become wealthy." Early recovery is a time of immense learning where it is not uncommon to hear popular "sober phrases" repeated by newly sober people. These phrases are so popular because, when remembered, they make the person in early recovery feel better knowing they are not alone as the very existence of these phrases helps them feel understood. For example, a common phrase is "one day at a time." This simple statement says so much to the newly recovering person because in early recovery many of us feel overwhelmed with anxiety about how to stay sober for the rest of our lives. When we are reminded that we only need to succeed in our efforts today and that tomorrow never comes we feel better. This is an example of taking what we learn, ...

My name is Bryan Hullihen and I am not only personally in recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction for many years now but I have also dedicated my life to helping others do the same. At one time in my life every waking moment was dedicated to self-destruction whereas now the opposite is true. Now my personal motto is "go further" which I apply to every area of personal development in my life. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and interpersonally I strive to go further and pack what I can into the stream of life. One area that I particularly enjoy is that of physical fitness. I not only enjoy this activity but I also see its significance for those in recovery. Our bodies are the vehicles that, when we are able, must be taken care of to the best of our abilities as physical fitness is one aspect of life that is somewhat controllable. This, of course, is barring only injuries or handicaps that would prevent or limit physical activity. When I say controllable I mean to say ...

Working in the field of substance abuse treatment has afforded me the opportunity to meet so many interesting people. I have witnessed countless people come into treatment with the same broken and defeated expression on their faces to leave a few months later walking tall and feeling capable of living a sober life. I have also had the unfortunate experience of seeing those defeated individuals come into treatment asking for help but, for one reason or another, deny themselves the willingness to receive it. Many of these unfortunate individuals have gone on in their suffering to die a premature death and although they were given every opportunity to get better, left a trail of heartache and suffering in their wake. The main distinction that I have found between these two types o f cases in the treatment setting is the ability to take suggestions. The successful group is typically comprised of people that have been able to, not only form a strong therapeutic alliance with their treatmen...

My name is Bryan Hullihen and I have been sober now for several years. In fact, I haven't been sober for this long since I was 11 years old. Over the years I have tried sobriety so many times and have failed in so many ways. Sometimes I made the same mistake twice and other times I found myself high or drunk with no idea how I could’ve been so crazy to use again. The amount of times that I have been asked by my loved ones how I could be so inconsiderate to them or if I had any dignity left is staggering. The truth is I wanted a better life and I wanted to quit messing up but I would always find myself high after a moment of weakness when I blocked out all thoughts of loved ones, my future, my past, and anything that would have kept me from using. This is just one aspect of the thinking of an alcoholic and there exists a myriad of other examples that alcoholics use to explain how they want one thing but do the opposite. This is why so many of us feel weak, confused, and ashamed i...

Recently I ( Bryan Hullihen ) was working with an alcoholic in early recovery regarding the concept of clearing up the wreckage of his past when I noticed a pattern that I've seen over the years begin to emerge. This particular person began to ask my opinion on several instances that, in my opinion, required no amends at all. Details are not important here and if you are in early recovery asking your support group about the validity to your amends is strongly encouraged. What is important is the nature of extremes when dealing with alcoholism or drug addiction. For example, I remember a time when I was told by my mentor that alcoholism is a disease centered in selfishness and self-centeredness. In all of my perplexity I thought, "If I'm to give away all my belongings to become and ascetic while living a life of abnegation I'll never stay sober!" My mentor smiled and looked at me and said, " Bryan Hullihen , that is spoken like a true alcoholic and that stat...

Everybody on the planet has certain needs; the need for air, food, and water. The need to be a part of and accepted by the tribe or common needs. One of my, Bryan Hullihen 's, salient needs is self-actualization which is the attainment of my goals or the living up to my potential. In the very beginning of my personal recovery when I used to say, "My name is Bryan Hullihen and I am an alcoholic.", I would feel a sense of dignity returned to me after spending years as if I had none at all.  That's because during my active addiction I was not living up to my potential and in recovery I have a chance to reach my own self-actualization. The quandary is that although I was not living up to my potential in active addiction I was doing the absolute best I could with the tools I had at the time and the information that I was armed with. This is difficult for many people to accept but you too have done the very best you could every second of every day of your life....

My name is Bryan Hullihen and I have had the experience of early recovery more times than I’d care to admit. I often reflect on my experiences during those difficult times to aid me in assisting others who are new to the recovery process or when I need a shot of gratitude for where I am today. There exists a myriad of growing points in my journey that have contributed to my development, however, the most salient of these catalysts is the concept of “the important things”. I had a tendency to get tight at all the wrong times during early recovery. The thoughts that would enter my mind would invoke a great deal of anxiety for me due to fear that I may act on them. There were times when I was in a formal setting and someone would say something I didn't agree with and I would think to myself, “What an idiot, I'm going to tell them to either get their facts straight or shut up”! Now I knew that was not appropriate and it wouldn't earn me any friends so I ...

My name is Bryan Hullihen and I have had the pleasure of working in the field of substance abuse treatment for several years now and I have had the experience of early recovery on a personal level several times throughout my life. On a personal level the decisions I’ve made in the past were largely dictated by my subconscious or a desire to achieve some goal. Many times, those goals were in the pursuit of things ranging from pleasure to purported responsibility. Other times I was pursuing escape from fear or feelings of inadequacy and didn’t even realize that was the case. This haphazard and capricious way of making decisions ostensibly works for some people, however, for those who are in early recovery a more concrete approach to decision making is required. One method that was given to me which I use with those whom I work with in creating their recovery goals and objectives is to ask a simple question; “Is this decision going to bring me closer to, or further from, my recovery?” ...

According to Viktor Frankl in his book, Man's Search for Meaning, if one had no hope for the future or ability to find meaning in the present the chances of survival in a concentration camp was not possible (Frankl, 2006). Frankl observed fellow prisoners during the holocaust and noticed that some prisoners looked to the past, as if their best days were behind them, for inspiration while others looked for meaning in their suffering and had hope for the future. Frankl discovered that those who were stuck in the past did not have the will to live and died in much greater numbers than those who had faith in the possibility of a great future. My name is Bryan Hullihen and I too have witnessed this same deleterious mindset affect the likelihood of someone in early recovery achieving long-term sobriety. This statement is in no way comparing addiction to the horrors Frankl lived through, however, the observations are very much the same. When individuals are in early recovery and believe...

For many individuals in early recovery from drug and alcohol abuse identifying one’s values and morals can be a difficult exercise. From a dialectic perspective it makes sense for a therapist to do this with their clients as it allows one to see how they have not been living in accordance with their ideals. This process can be the beginning of affecting lasting change in an individual’s life by allowing them to exhibit behaviors more indicative of their virtues. In theory, and practice, this idea makes a lot of sense, however, for many people in early recovery the identity comprising the individual from their own perspective is more closely aligned with thoughts that are diametrical to their professed values and morals. So how can one once again see that they are, in fact, worthy of their virtues? A practice that many begin this process, which can be done by anybody at any time, is telling one’s “life story” using only successes in two minutes. No talk of death, divorce, failure, or h...

Being in early recovery with the holidays approaching is typically a scary time for most individuals. Many people will be attending their first sober Christmas and New Years after several years of active drug and alcohol abuse and the importance of a solid holiday plan cannot be understated. Recognizing this as a high-risk situation can start the process of employing a relapse prevention plan that may save the life of the individual in early recovery attempting to navigate the holidays. My name is Bryan Hullihen and I have assisted countless families and individuals through this process. Although the people and situations have broad variability the plans themselves remain consistent. In some cases, usually extreme, spending the holidays with the family is not a good idea. For these folks it is typically recommended that they schedule their time to be with their sober support group, especially during the days and times they will likely be most vulnerable and susceptible to relapse. Fo...

The trite expression of “old habits die hard” could not be any more true than it is for those in early recovery. When an individual is learning how to live a life of sobriety after several years of self-centered thinking their new life is often viewed through a lens of distorted perceptions. Attempting to let go of the things that we think we know about what we need in this process was the hardest part for me. When I, Bryan Hullihen , was in early recovery I still thought that I knew best regarding what I needed to be successful in beating my addiction. I can laugh, to myself, when I am working with someone in early recovery when they say the same things I did when I was where they are. I often hear, “I just need to finish college, get a job, meet a nice girl, and hang around a better crowd”. Although all of these things are good they were not what I “needed”. It wasn’t until I had undergone a paradigm shift where my new declaration of what I needed became, “I just need to focus on m...

My name is Bryan Hullihen and today I’d like to talk about staying teachable. I have worked in the field of substance abuse treatment since 2008 and have facilitated countless intakes into varying degrees of treatment. One of the primary indicators of how successful one’s stay will be is compliance to the treatment plan while the other is the therapeutic alliance. A client is ultimately given an entire team of professionals to assist them in their road to recovery; however, in many cases those seeking treatment set out to tell their team what they need in order to recover. I compare this type of behavior to a below average golfer taking lessons from Tiger Woods while telling Mr. Woods he doesn’t know what he is talking about. The more an individual in early recovery can get out of their own way and allow those tasked with guiding them do what they do, the better off one will be. Letting go of the tiller or getting out of the driver’s seat is not an easy thing to do for someone in ear...

My name is Bryan Hullihen and I have worked in the field of substance abuse treatment, in one way or another, since 2008. Prior to that I battled my own addiction at progressing levels since I was thirteen. I didn’t recover until I learned that, while in active addiction or early recovery, my thinking could not be trusted. Although addiction infiltrates mind, body, and spirit it was my thinking that kept me sick. Some of my best plans lead me back to addictive behaviors until I began to take direction from those who knew better long enough for my brain to heal and for my recovery to become established on solid ground. The purpose of this blog is to provide a forum for discussing the insidious nature of addiction and the precarious nature of early recovery. I look forward to reading your comments and feel free to post your own personal stories. Remember that this blog is public so don’t post anything confidential or things that you do not want others to read. Sincerely, Bryan ...